#227: Underage Drinkers: Social Menace Or Misunderstood?
The Issue
With the advent of alcopops and other cheap liquors marketed at younger drinkers there has been public outcry at the sharp increase in underage drinking.
The Debate
1. "I never wanted my poor babies to grow up to be alcoholics!" wails @@RANDOMNAME@@, a parent of three, striding into your office. "And now I'm worried they'll drink themselves into being no-good slobs before they've even grown up! The only way to stop this madness is to really crack down on under-age drinking. Stricter identification laws and severe punishments should do the trick! The present laws are much too soft!"
Result:
2. "What is it with parents making society discipline their children because they don't want to?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, a schoolteacher. "These wishy-washy parents are to blame for their kids' misdemeanours! It is the parents who should be held responsible and be fined- no, even better, arrested and jailed!"
Result:
3. "Keep your hands off my Spinning Mermaid, Mac," says ten-year-old @@RANDOMNAME@@, an all-round unruly youth while downing some sort of shocking pink beverage. "Why shouldn't us kids be allowed to drink? We're reshponshible enou- HIC- enough. Don't oppress us like this, we're jusht havin' some fun."
Result:
4. "To be honest, this doesn't surprise me," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a cultural attaché from East Lebuckte. "Back in my country it is customary for children to have a glass of wine with their main meal of the day. If you make alcohol an everyday mundanity then they're not going to go overboard with it later. Educate them in culture and sophistication so that they truly appreciate their senses instead of trashing them on low-grade hooch."
Result:
Averageness +2
Culture +3
Happiness -1
Industry: Beverage Sales -1
Nudity -2
Obesity -2
Recreational Drug Use -1
Safety +9
Safety from Crime +3
Social Conservatism +1
Toxicity -6
Weaponization -4
Youth Rebelliousness -2
5. "I agree that we should educate them about alcohol rather than simply hope punishments will get through to them," says Dr @@RANDOMNAME@@, an expert on alcoholism. "But teaching those hoodlums culture? It just won't work. If we're going to get them to drink less then we must impress on them the DANGERS of alcohol, not the benefits! We'll scare them into drinking sensibly!"
Result:
6. "This wouldn't be a problem at all if alcohol was banned altogether," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, enjoying a fine ginger beer. "It's not just kids who break the law when under the influence you know."
Result:
#145: Hackles Raised Over Fur Clothes Debate
The Issue
Several animal rights groups have protested the continuing use of fur as a material for clothing.
The Debate
1. "This is an outrage!" cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, president of the Be Nice To Animals society. "The manufacture of fur apparel is unethical, cruel, and disgusting! People just don't seem to realise that millions of animals die each year in fur farms, crammed into tiny cages and suffering the most terrible treatment just so someone can look appealing and rich! This is a sick practice and must be stopped! The same can go for leather shoes and snakeskin belts too."
Result:
2. "You can't mean that, surely?" snorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, adjusting his hat, made from real @@ANIMAL@@ hide. "It's the people's choice what they wear. I don't think it's fair that the majority of the public should be deprived of fur clothes because some people are a bit queasy. In fact, if the government would allow us to stock rarer animals, we could produce even finer products. In the end, it's up to the consumer, don't you think?"
Result:
Averageness +2
Compassion -1
Employment +2
Niceness -1
Pacifism -1
Rudeness +1
Toxicity +1
Weather -1
#081: Close Encounters Of The Sci-fi Kind?
The Issue
A recent, well-publicized UFO sighting over rural areas of @@NAME@@ has turned people's attention to the skies, and what... or who... might be up there.
The Debate
1. "This event proves one thing: there are other life-forms out there," says eccentric astronomer @@RANDOMNAME@@, "All we have to do is find them! What is the price of a few hundred Radio Telescopes compared to the benefit of living in peace and harmony with our brethren of the stars?"
Result:
2. "Spies! It's gotta be spies! A few planes or satellites from our enemies or 'allies' in our region," rages General @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of @@NAME@@'s military, "The only way to keep those snoops out of our airspace is to patrol the streets 'n skies, and shoot 'em down! Even if they are some sort of little green aliens, a couple of SAM batteries and a few flak cannons'll keep 'em from abducting our @@ANIMAL@@s."
Result:
3. "Extraterrestrial lifeforms? Alien invaders? I don't know why we even have to listen to such idiocy!" complains prize-winning physicist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "In my opinion, the idea of 'aliens' on another planet is highly unlikely, and even if they did exist, getting from there to here is technically impossible! I say we forget this nonsense and stop spending our tax @@CURRENCY@@s on it. Leave this sort of foolishness to the people who attend those 'trekkie' conventions."
Result:
Averageness -3
Happiness +1
Political Apathy +2
#028: Cancer Sufferer Demands Euthanasia Bill
The Issue
Dorothy Terwilliger lies immobilized in a hospital bed, unable to move. She has end-stage cancer, and wishes to end her struggle against death. However, laws prevent her doctors from obeying her wishes.
The Debate
1. Dorothy and her family are campaigning for a "Dying with Dignity" bill, to change this situation. She implores the government to legalize euthanasia.
Result:
Civil Rights +1
Authoritarianism -0.001
Happiness -1
Nudity +2
Obesity +4
Public Healthcare -1
Recreational Drug Use +1
Social Conservatism -2
Weaponization +2
Weather -1
2. "I understand this is a very difficult time for these people," says freelance medical writer @@RANDOMNAME@@. "But the solution is not to let our medical system slide down the slippery slope of killing people in pain. We must cure, not kill. This is not the right time for euthanasia."
Result:
3. "I agree, but go further: there is never a right time for euthanasia," says Bishop @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The lives we lead are given to us by the grace of God, and he decides when they end. It is not for us to question God's divine purpose, no matter how odd or screwed-up it may seem."
Result:
#102: For Whom The Road Tolls
The Issue
A group of transport analysts have suggested that a charge of five @@CURRENCY@@s a day for vehicular access to @@NAME@@'s most congested inner-cities during peak hours is the only way to solve their ever-growing traffic problem.
The Debate
1. "Similar schemes have been very effective elsewhere," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@NAME@@'s most infamous traffic warden. "It's common sense that the best way to curb dangerously high demand is to raise the price of the supply - or, as in this case, to create a price. Charging citizens to go into more congested areas could, combined with the improvements to public transport it will finance, actually make people choose public transport over their cars. I don't see why people shouldn't pay tax for a little less traffic on our roads."
Result:
Averageness -4
Eco Friendliness +1
Environmental Beauty +5
Public Transport +4
Tourism +4
Toxicity -4.5
2. "These tolls are a preposterous idea," argues road lobbyist, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Public transport will never replace the car - I don't want to be forced to share my space with a bunch of malodorous working-class people on my way to work. Not that I would be, because I could afford the charge, but really, it's the principle of the matter! The only solution is to expand urban road networks. True, some pavements and green spots would have to go, but those pedestrians should be able to put up with that if they're to expect @@NAME@@ to be part of the modern world."
Result:
3. "Allowing cars to scoot around and pollute our cities was a bad idea in the first place," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a famous environmentalist. "The solution is to restrict private transport to main roads and motorways whilst funding a major urban public transport scheme. Our buses and undergrounds could be the envy of the world! Yes, the car companies will suffer a little, and yes, there'll be a bit more tax, but wouldn't it be worth it for a bit of fresh air and safe streets for the children?"
Result:
#041: Software Giant Stomps on Competition
The Issue
The CEO of @@NAME@@ software, hardware, and electronic headwear giant Microcosm, Inc. has been brought before the Supreme Court for violation of antitrust laws.
The Debate
1. "These allegations are absolutely ludicrous!" shouts Microcosm CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@ from out the window of his 90-foot stretch limo. "Just because rival companies are incapable of producing products as brilliant as mine is no reason to punish ME! I say it's high time we abolish these idiotic antitrust laws and give big business the freedom to serve the public better. After all, I'm in this business for the people!"
Result:
Authoritarianism +0.001
Averageness +31
Business Subsidization -1
Compassion -2
Corruption +2
Employment -3
Environmental Beauty +0.25
Freedom From Corruption -2
Human Development Index +1
Ideological Radicality -1
Income Equality +3
Industry: Arms Manufacturing -1
Industry: Book Publishing -1
Industry: Furniture Restoration -1
Most Pro-Market -0.6
Niceness -2
Obesity -5
Pacifism -1
Rudeness +2.7
Safety -2
Tourism -0.25
Toxicity +1.25
Weather -2
2. "Microcosm must be shut down immediately," argues CEO of Computers, Computers, Computers! @@RANDOMNAME@@ from out the window of his clunky, exhaust-choked used car. "I can't get a foothold to compete in the market because those bigwigs in Microcosm have that foothold by the throat! It's high time the government stepped in and helped out the little man, and the best way to do that is to shut down the big, oppressive, corporate gurus in Microcosm and beyond."
Result:
3. "Verily, I say unto thee, none of this would have happened wouldst thou not have stopped the problem before thou didst start it," argues Brother @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the @@NAME@@ Amish community from out the window of his horse-drawn carriage. "We must doest as the Lord commandeth and abolishest the evils of computers and the Internet entirely. Only whenst we harken unto the Lord's commandments mayeth we truly be spiritually blessed."
Result:
Thursday 28 March 2013
Wednesday 20 March 2013
Issues #031, #064, #049, #062, #325, #187, #317, #241, #008, #208.
#031: Get Efficient, Private Sector Tells Nature
The Issue
A group of prominent business identities has proposed privatizing @@NAME@@'s beaches.
The Debate
1. "Have you been to the beach lately? It's disgusting," says company spokesperson @@RANDOMNAME@@. "There's litter, there's teenagers smoking, and there are people enjoying themselves without paying for it. Let the private sector in on this, and @@NAME@@'s beaches will be the talk of the region! And a nice little earner, too."
The Results: Citizens must pay to enjoy NATION's pristine beaches.
2. "Whoa, whoa, we're privatizing beaches now?" says local campaigner @@RANDOMNAME@@. "These are public spaces! All @@NAME@@'s citizens have a right to enjoy them, not just the well-off. Yes, we should improve the quality of our beaches, but handing them over to the money-grabbers is not the right way to do it. The right way to do it is to boost government spending by increasing taxes."
The Results: a government program is underway to revitalize NATION's beaches.
#064: Put The "Board" Back In Board Of Education
The Issue
The @@NAME@@ Teachers' Union, complaining of a steady increase in student disciplinary problems, wants to be able to use corporal punishment to correct misbehavior.
The Debate
1. "Clearly, parents aren't teaching manners at home," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, the union president. "All we want is to be able to take a paddle to their backsides when there are problems. It's not like we want to throw the kids in jail."
The Results:
2. "Keep your hands off my kids!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, while protesting outside of union headquarters. "If there's a problem, it's with the teachers not having the skills to do their jobs. They should be tested for qualifications!"
The Results:
Averageness +5
Human Development Index +1
Toxicity +0.25
3. "Corporal punishment would only treat a symptom of the bigger problem: our education system is in need of an overhaul," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@NAME@@'s education minister. "We need smaller class sizes, more teachers, better buildings, and better pay. It'll cost, but it'll pay off in the long run."
The Results:
4. "Why don't we just abolish the schools and home-school the kids?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, education coordinator for the @@NAME@@ First Omnimenical Church. "That way parents can stress the values they want their kids to have and give them the attention they need."
The Results:
#049: Diving For @@CURRENCY@@s
The Issue
Divers from a local scuba club have discovered an enormous underwater gold deposit that could be worth billions of @@CURRENCY@@s in one of @@NAME@@'s lakes. It has also caused a huge debate over who should be allowed to plunder the goods.
The Debate
1. @@RANDOMNAME@@, a cabinet member, would like the government to seize the deposit. "This is an excellent time to boost @@NAME@@'s economy and increase our foreign trade with other countries! Who cares about the people that discovered the deposit? They've done their country a great favor and should let us have the money!"
The Results:
2. @@RANDOMNAME@@, a civil rights activist, vehemently disagrees. "The deposit was found by private citizens and it should be their choice of what to do with the gold. If the government goes around stealing what is rightfully ours, then I shudder to think I live in such a corrupt country. These people discovered the gold, it's now their time to get rich! Nevermind the fact they were diving in a lake on government property!"
The Results:
Civil Rights +2
Authoritarianism -0.002
Averageness -29
Corruption -1
Environmental Beauty +0.25
Freedom From Corruption +1
Ideological Radicality +1
Safety +1
Social Conservatism -3
Tourism +1.25
Toxicity +0.75
Weaponization +3
3. "We should do what now?" Environmentalist @@RANDOMNAME@@ exclaims. "Do you have any idea how damaging it would be to the environment to mine the gold under that lake? Think of all the aquatic life that would be disrupted or destroyed! Think of how an otherwise pristine lake view would be ruined! Forget the gold and keep those money-grubbing pigs away from nature!"
The Results:
#062: Oh, The Angst!
The Issue
In response to rising rates of depression related suicides, mental health groups have called for government funding to help support treatment programs, citing various surveys that indicate psychological disorders are often an overlooked problem.
The Debate
1. "Although it is often dismissed as an irrelevant complaint, depression is a real disease; it isn't just 'all in your head'," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, depression sufferer. "Depression has significant effects on groups and individuals, especially amongst teenagers. Every day, more and more people commit suicide because of this disease, but this could all be stopped if this country had a decent level of funding for support and public awareness programs."
The Results:
2. "Screw them," @@RANDOMNAME@@, talkback radio host, stated yesterday. "Depression isn't a disease, it's just another example of today's youth finding something to complain about. Life's never been better. In fact, just yesterday, I bought my fourth BMW. And even if it is as serious as the bleeding hearts claim, then I say we leave it and cut some of the funding being wasted on these head cases. If a few whiners jump off a bridge, it'll be good for the genepool. Natural selection, my friends. It's a great thing."
The Results:
3. "Actually, a lot of depression cases in teens are related to school and all the stress and pressure young people are under to succeed. A greater effort to correct the problem of depression should start there, with more funding so that schools can provide better counseling programs." Comments Dr. @@RANDOMNAME@@, author of the book "Tomato Soup for the Soul". "That way teens who are depressed can get help even if their parents can't or won't take them to see a psychologist."
The Results:
Averageness +5
Government Size +1
Safety +3
Safety from Crime +1
Toxicity -2
Weaponization -1
Weather +1
#325: Blazing Through the Paper Trail
The Issue
Follow a recent fire in the National Archive, which destroyed thousands of important documents, several vocal representatives have approached you with solutions.
The Debate
1."We're got to face facts: technology has advanced beyond physical record-keeping," councils @@RANDOMNAME@@, the PR representative for Eastern Electronic. "Digital records are easier to maintain and easier to back up. Our company can facilitate the switch from the archaic paper records to the sleek, new electronic system. There is the slight risk of electronic tampering, but our security systems are more than capable."
The Results:
2."Now, hold on a second. What about us?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of a national paper supplier. "We might not have the flash of an electronic system, but I'll tell you what we do have: quality customer service. You're saying fires are bad. Well, we hear you loud and clear. Stick with us and not only will we make physical copies of all the files to store in different locales, but I'll get my research team to whip up some fire-resistant paper too. Let's see those IT poindexters do all that!"
The Results:
3."No, no, no. It's all too dangerous!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, dressed only in a cured @@ANIMAL@@ hide. "Paper can be destroyed by fire or floods, and electronic copies are susceptible to viruses and hackers! There's only one way to truly keep our records safe. We must rerecord them on stone tablets. Fire can't destroy them, and I'd like to see someone hack a piece of granite!"
The Results:
The Issue
A group of prominent business identities has proposed privatizing @@NAME@@'s beaches.
The Debate
1. "Have you been to the beach lately? It's disgusting," says company spokesperson @@RANDOMNAME@@. "There's litter, there's teenagers smoking, and there are people enjoying themselves without paying for it. Let the private sector in on this, and @@NAME@@'s beaches will be the talk of the region! And a nice little earner, too."
The Results: Citizens must pay to enjoy NATION's pristine beaches.
Economy +1
Averageness +6
Eco Friendliness +3
Employment -4
Environmental Beauty +61.75
Human Development Index +1
Lifespan +2
Obesity -4
Pacifism +2
Tourism +64.25
Toxicity -61,25
Unexpected Death Rate -2
Weather +16
2. "Whoa, whoa, we're privatizing beaches now?" says local campaigner @@RANDOMNAME@@. "These are public spaces! All @@NAME@@'s citizens have a right to enjoy them, not just the well-off. Yes, we should improve the quality of our beaches, but handing them over to the money-grabbers is not the right way to do it. The right way to do it is to boost government spending by increasing taxes."
The Results: a government program is underway to revitalize NATION's beaches.
#064: Put The "Board" Back In Board Of Education
The Issue
The @@NAME@@ Teachers' Union, complaining of a steady increase in student disciplinary problems, wants to be able to use corporal punishment to correct misbehavior.
The Debate
1. "Clearly, parents aren't teaching manners at home," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, the union president. "All we want is to be able to take a paddle to their backsides when there are problems. It's not like we want to throw the kids in jail."
The Results:
2. "Keep your hands off my kids!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, while protesting outside of union headquarters. "If there's a problem, it's with the teachers not having the skills to do their jobs. They should be tested for qualifications!"
The Results:
Averageness +5
Human Development Index +1
Toxicity +0.25
3. "Corporal punishment would only treat a symptom of the bigger problem: our education system is in need of an overhaul," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@NAME@@'s education minister. "We need smaller class sizes, more teachers, better buildings, and better pay. It'll cost, but it'll pay off in the long run."
The Results:
4. "Why don't we just abolish the schools and home-school the kids?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, education coordinator for the @@NAME@@ First Omnimenical Church. "That way parents can stress the values they want their kids to have and give them the attention they need."
The Results:
#049: Diving For @@CURRENCY@@s
The Issue
Divers from a local scuba club have discovered an enormous underwater gold deposit that could be worth billions of @@CURRENCY@@s in one of @@NAME@@'s lakes. It has also caused a huge debate over who should be allowed to plunder the goods.
The Debate
1. @@RANDOMNAME@@, a cabinet member, would like the government to seize the deposit. "This is an excellent time to boost @@NAME@@'s economy and increase our foreign trade with other countries! Who cares about the people that discovered the deposit? They've done their country a great favor and should let us have the money!"
The Results:
2. @@RANDOMNAME@@, a civil rights activist, vehemently disagrees. "The deposit was found by private citizens and it should be their choice of what to do with the gold. If the government goes around stealing what is rightfully ours, then I shudder to think I live in such a corrupt country. These people discovered the gold, it's now their time to get rich! Nevermind the fact they were diving in a lake on government property!"
The Results:
Civil Rights +2
Authoritarianism -0.002
Averageness -29
Corruption -1
Environmental Beauty +0.25
Freedom From Corruption +1
Ideological Radicality +1
Safety +1
Social Conservatism -3
Tourism +1.25
Toxicity +0.75
Weaponization +3
3. "We should do what now?" Environmentalist @@RANDOMNAME@@ exclaims. "Do you have any idea how damaging it would be to the environment to mine the gold under that lake? Think of all the aquatic life that would be disrupted or destroyed! Think of how an otherwise pristine lake view would be ruined! Forget the gold and keep those money-grubbing pigs away from nature!"
The Results:
#062: Oh, The Angst!
The Issue
In response to rising rates of depression related suicides, mental health groups have called for government funding to help support treatment programs, citing various surveys that indicate psychological disorders are often an overlooked problem.
The Debate
1. "Although it is often dismissed as an irrelevant complaint, depression is a real disease; it isn't just 'all in your head'," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, depression sufferer. "Depression has significant effects on groups and individuals, especially amongst teenagers. Every day, more and more people commit suicide because of this disease, but this could all be stopped if this country had a decent level of funding for support and public awareness programs."
The Results:
2. "Screw them," @@RANDOMNAME@@, talkback radio host, stated yesterday. "Depression isn't a disease, it's just another example of today's youth finding something to complain about. Life's never been better. In fact, just yesterday, I bought my fourth BMW. And even if it is as serious as the bleeding hearts claim, then I say we leave it and cut some of the funding being wasted on these head cases. If a few whiners jump off a bridge, it'll be good for the genepool. Natural selection, my friends. It's a great thing."
The Results:
3. "Actually, a lot of depression cases in teens are related to school and all the stress and pressure young people are under to succeed. A greater effort to correct the problem of depression should start there, with more funding so that schools can provide better counseling programs." Comments Dr. @@RANDOMNAME@@, author of the book "Tomato Soup for the Soul". "That way teens who are depressed can get help even if their parents can't or won't take them to see a psychologist."
The Results:
Averageness +5
Government Size +1
Safety +3
Safety from Crime +1
Toxicity -2
Weaponization -1
Weather +1
#325: Blazing Through the Paper Trail
The Issue
Follow a recent fire in the National Archive, which destroyed thousands of important documents, several vocal representatives have approached you with solutions.
The Debate
1."We're got to face facts: technology has advanced beyond physical record-keeping," councils @@RANDOMNAME@@, the PR representative for Eastern Electronic. "Digital records are easier to maintain and easier to back up. Our company can facilitate the switch from the archaic paper records to the sleek, new electronic system. There is the slight risk of electronic tampering, but our security systems are more than capable."
The Results:
2."Now, hold on a second. What about us?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of a national paper supplier. "We might not have the flash of an electronic system, but I'll tell you what we do have: quality customer service. You're saying fires are bad. Well, we hear you loud and clear. Stick with us and not only will we make physical copies of all the files to store in different locales, but I'll get my research team to whip up some fire-resistant paper too. Let's see those IT poindexters do all that!"
The Results:
3."No, no, no. It's all too dangerous!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, dressed only in a cured @@ANIMAL@@ hide. "Paper can be destroyed by fire or floods, and electronic copies are susceptible to viruses and hackers! There's only one way to truly keep our records safe. We must rerecord them on stone tablets. Fire can't destroy them, and I'd like to see someone hack a piece of granite!"
The Results:
Averageness +7
Defense Forces +1
Eco Friendliness +1
Employment +4
Employment +4
Environmental Beauty +1.5
Health +0.03
Law Enforcement +1
Public Healthcare +1
Public Transport +1
Safety +1
Tourism +1.5
Toxicity -1.5
Welfare +1
#187: @@NAME@@'s Underclass Drowning In Debt
The Issue
In response to an increasing number of people falling into debt and declaring bankruptcy, activists are arguing that the government should take a stronger role in protecting its citizens from loosely regulated lending firms and in helping its citizens pay off or cancel their debts.
The Debate
1. @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of consumer watchdog 'Debt-Busters' urges the government to enact new laws: "We've got middle and lower class families falling victim to predatory financial institutions and plunging into debts they can never hope to repay. The government must pass legislation restricting things like interest rates to stem the tide of people losing their property to these sharks, and take an active role reviewing all loan repayment terms."
The Results:
2. "That's just not going far enough!" cries newspaper columnist, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The government must eliminate the shackles of debt from our good nation once and for all! What we need are vast reforms of the welfare system then we can provide these poor, downtrodden souls with money and housing, so they don't need to take out such huge loans in the first place!
The Results:
3. "They're irresponsible with their money and yet they're the victims? Call me crazy but borrowing money and not paying it back isn't debt, it's theft!" scoffs @@RANDOMNAME@@, representitive of one of @@NAME@@'s largest lending firms. "What we really need is the power to send these parasites to debtor prisons, where they can work off the money they owe through hard manual labour."
The Results:
Averageness -15
Defense Forces -2
Eco Friendliness -2
Environmental Beauty -5.5
Government Size -1
Health +0.03
Industry: Arms Manufacturing +2
Industry: Beverage Sales +1
Industry: Book Publishing +1
Industry: Cheese Exports +1
Industry: Furniture Restoration +1
Law Enforcement -2
Obesity +4
Pacifism -2
Public Healthcare -2
Public Transport -2
Safety -2
Tourism -3.5
Toxicity +3.5
Welfare -2
#317: Big Brother Is Watching You Surf
The Issue
Advisers from @@NAME@@'s security services have created a small piece of spyware that they would like to install on every computer in the nation so they can track activity.
The Debate
1. "For the good of all," claims Department of Protection head @@RANDOMNAME@@. "This tiny little program will simply collect data and send it via the internet to one of our databases. Nobody will even notice that it's there. Besides, who's gonna notice a handful of bytes under mountains of stolen MP3s? Just give us the green light and we'll be rounding up terrorists faster than you can say 'lolcat'! And, hey, while we're at it, we could even use it to alert people when there's danger!"
The Results:
2. "Are you insane?" shouts privacy advocate @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Our @@CURRENCY@@s pay for our computers; they're not the government's property! The last thing we need is the government poking its big, fat nose into our business. Keep the government's hands off my harddrive! What's next? Brain implants? Leave my brainwaves alone, you jack-booted thugs!"
The Results:
3. "While 'tis not my place," says Amish farmer @@RANDOMNAME@@, "I just thought I'd mention that we Amish don't have any of this so-called 'cyber-crime'. Aye, 'tis a boring life, and plowin' gets old, but abolishing all of those computer-machines would certainly solve thy problems. Perhaps ye should just abandon phones and fax machines, too. Then ye'll be on your way to livin' in an Amish paradise!"
The Results:
Averageness +1
Nudity +2
Recreational Drug Use +1
Safety -6
Safety from Crime -2
Social Conservatism -1
Toxicity +4
Weaponization +3
#241: A Capital City For @@NAME@@?
The Issue
As @@NAME@@ continues to grow, so too does its government. The number of politicians needed to administrate and legislate the country is rapidly surpassing the Houses of Parliament's capacity with ministers often requiring periscopes to see the House Speaker. Some are suggesting a new building be built in another city - a city which would then be designated as the capital city of @@NAME@@.
The Debate
1. "I would like to make a humble recommendation for my own proud jurisdiction," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, mayor of one of @@NAME@@'s major cities. "It would be an honour for our city to be host to the seat of power! If it will seal the deal, you can change the name if you like..."
The Results:
2. "Hah! Capital city indeed!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a fervent anarchist, spilling leaflets all over the floor. "What's wrong with being free as the wind? Do you really think one city could possibly represent a whole country? Its people? I've had enough of the man trying to screw us down all the time! Say NO to a national capital!"
The Results:
3. "I can accept and even approve of having a capital city," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a military strategist. "But we'd be putting all our eggs in one basket if we choose somewhere too vulnerable! Believe me, capitals always get the brunt of the enemy attack because of their political and economic importance. We should put aside a few billion @@CURRENCY@@s and build our capital city underground. They'll never bomb us there!"
The Results:
4. "I've got an idea," says theme park tycoon, Lindsay Tew. "My company will happily sponsor the new establishment and cover all costs - as long as it's made to our specifications. We've already got plans drawn up to put a roller coaster straight through the House of Commons! A cafe, some kiosks for ice cream... maybe even a water slide or two in the lobby! It'll be one part legislative seat of government, one part family-fun theme park! Tourists will flock from around the globe!"
The Results:
5. "What's wrong with the old building?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, a noted disestablishmentarian. "We don't need some kind of fancy capital city just to make the bigwig ministers feel important! If there's no room, then fire politicians until there IS room. Have you never heard of doing more with less?"
The Results:
Averageness -51
Defense Forces -8
Eco Friendliness -8
Environmental Beauty -16
Freedom From Taxation +1
Government Size -2
Human Development Index -1
Law Enforcement -18
Lifespan -1
Public Healthcare -8
Public Transport -8
Safety -8
Taxation -1
Tourism -16
Toxicity +16
Unexpected Death Rate +1
Welfare -8
Note: You cannot choose the name of your capital city, it remains locked until you get this issue again.
#008: Nudists Demand Time In Sun
The Issue
A loose coalition of sartorially-challenged individuals known as "Let It All Hang Out" has called on the government to relax public nudity laws.
The Debate
1. "For too long, our bodies have been trapped in these prisons of cotton and polyester!" yelled protester @@RANDOMNAME@@, while apparently developing a nasty case of sunburn. "We must repeal the puritanical laws that make public nudity a crime. My body--my choice to dangle!"
The Results:
Averageness +1
Nudity +12
Tourism +1
Weather +1
2. "I agree," mused sociology professor @@RANDOMNAME@@. "But I don't think the protestors are going far enough. Public nudity shouldn't be an option: it should be compulsory. Nudity is highly liberating. And it would put that disgusting "Hooters" out of business once and for all."
The Results: 3. "Whoa, whoa," says noted accountant @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Are these people serious? The last thing I want to see when I'm out for a coffee is some lumbering, over-weight nudist coming down the sidewalk toward me. If people want to get naked, they can do it in the privacy of their own homes. Think of the children!"
The Results:
#208: Mine Collapse Rocks @@NAME@@
The Issue
A mine has collapsed in @@NAME@@ burying hundreds of workers. Calls have been made by the families to tighten up mining safety laws.
The Debate
1. "We need tighter laws to protect vulnerable miners!" moans @@RANDOMNAME@@, a family member of one of the victims. "The mines are being propped up by twigs, the hard hats might as well be made of polystyrene, and the inspectors are all bribed! New laws must be made and the people responsible for allowing this to happen brought to justice."
The Results:
2. "These allegations are ludicrous and unfounded," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of the South @@NAME@@ Mining Company. "We use the finest twigs to build our mines and the last thing we need is the government tying us down with yet more rules. More safety laws means more expense means less profit and less profit means companies will look elsewhere to get their goods. You should leave us alone before you destroy thousands of jobs - do you really want that on your conscience?"
The Results:
Averageness +1
Employment +2
Environmental Beauty -0.5
Happiness +1
Human Development Index -1
Obesity +4
Tourism -0.5
Toxicity +0.5
Weather -1
#187: @@NAME@@'s Underclass Drowning In Debt
The Issue
In response to an increasing number of people falling into debt and declaring bankruptcy, activists are arguing that the government should take a stronger role in protecting its citizens from loosely regulated lending firms and in helping its citizens pay off or cancel their debts.
The Debate
1. @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of consumer watchdog 'Debt-Busters' urges the government to enact new laws: "We've got middle and lower class families falling victim to predatory financial institutions and plunging into debts they can never hope to repay. The government must pass legislation restricting things like interest rates to stem the tide of people losing their property to these sharks, and take an active role reviewing all loan repayment terms."
The Results:
2. "That's just not going far enough!" cries newspaper columnist, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The government must eliminate the shackles of debt from our good nation once and for all! What we need are vast reforms of the welfare system then we can provide these poor, downtrodden souls with money and housing, so they don't need to take out such huge loans in the first place!
The Results:
3. "They're irresponsible with their money and yet they're the victims? Call me crazy but borrowing money and not paying it back isn't debt, it's theft!" scoffs @@RANDOMNAME@@, representitive of one of @@NAME@@'s largest lending firms. "What we really need is the power to send these parasites to debtor prisons, where they can work off the money they owe through hard manual labour."
The Results:
Averageness -15
Defense Forces -2
Eco Friendliness -2
Environmental Beauty -5.5
Government Size -1
Health +0.03
Industry: Arms Manufacturing +2
Industry: Beverage Sales +1
Industry: Book Publishing +1
Industry: Cheese Exports +1
Industry: Furniture Restoration +1
Law Enforcement -2
Obesity +4
Pacifism -2
Public Healthcare -2
Public Transport -2
Safety -2
Tourism -3.5
Toxicity +3.5
Welfare -2
#317: Big Brother Is Watching You Surf
The Issue
Advisers from @@NAME@@'s security services have created a small piece of spyware that they would like to install on every computer in the nation so they can track activity.
The Debate
1. "For the good of all," claims Department of Protection head @@RANDOMNAME@@. "This tiny little program will simply collect data and send it via the internet to one of our databases. Nobody will even notice that it's there. Besides, who's gonna notice a handful of bytes under mountains of stolen MP3s? Just give us the green light and we'll be rounding up terrorists faster than you can say 'lolcat'! And, hey, while we're at it, we could even use it to alert people when there's danger!"
The Results:
2. "Are you insane?" shouts privacy advocate @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Our @@CURRENCY@@s pay for our computers; they're not the government's property! The last thing we need is the government poking its big, fat nose into our business. Keep the government's hands off my harddrive! What's next? Brain implants? Leave my brainwaves alone, you jack-booted thugs!"
The Results:
3. "While 'tis not my place," says Amish farmer @@RANDOMNAME@@, "I just thought I'd mention that we Amish don't have any of this so-called 'cyber-crime'. Aye, 'tis a boring life, and plowin' gets old, but abolishing all of those computer-machines would certainly solve thy problems. Perhaps ye should just abandon phones and fax machines, too. Then ye'll be on your way to livin' in an Amish paradise!"
The Results:
Averageness +1
Nudity +2
Recreational Drug Use +1
Safety -6
Safety from Crime -2
Social Conservatism -1
Toxicity +4
Weaponization +3
#241: A Capital City For @@NAME@@?
The Issue
As @@NAME@@ continues to grow, so too does its government. The number of politicians needed to administrate and legislate the country is rapidly surpassing the Houses of Parliament's capacity with ministers often requiring periscopes to see the House Speaker. Some are suggesting a new building be built in another city - a city which would then be designated as the capital city of @@NAME@@.
The Debate
1. "I would like to make a humble recommendation for my own proud jurisdiction," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, mayor of one of @@NAME@@'s major cities. "It would be an honour for our city to be host to the seat of power! If it will seal the deal, you can change the name if you like..."
The Results:
2. "Hah! Capital city indeed!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a fervent anarchist, spilling leaflets all over the floor. "What's wrong with being free as the wind? Do you really think one city could possibly represent a whole country? Its people? I've had enough of the man trying to screw us down all the time! Say NO to a national capital!"
The Results:
3. "I can accept and even approve of having a capital city," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a military strategist. "But we'd be putting all our eggs in one basket if we choose somewhere too vulnerable! Believe me, capitals always get the brunt of the enemy attack because of their political and economic importance. We should put aside a few billion @@CURRENCY@@s and build our capital city underground. They'll never bomb us there!"
The Results:
4. "I've got an idea," says theme park tycoon, Lindsay Tew. "My company will happily sponsor the new establishment and cover all costs - as long as it's made to our specifications. We've already got plans drawn up to put a roller coaster straight through the House of Commons! A cafe, some kiosks for ice cream... maybe even a water slide or two in the lobby! It'll be one part legislative seat of government, one part family-fun theme park! Tourists will flock from around the globe!"
The Results:
5. "What's wrong with the old building?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, a noted disestablishmentarian. "We don't need some kind of fancy capital city just to make the bigwig ministers feel important! If there's no room, then fire politicians until there IS room. Have you never heard of doing more with less?"
The Results:
Averageness -51
Defense Forces -8
Eco Friendliness -8
Environmental Beauty -16
Freedom From Taxation +1
Government Size -2
Human Development Index -1
Law Enforcement -18
Lifespan -1
Public Healthcare -8
Public Transport -8
Safety -8
Taxation -1
Tourism -16
Toxicity +16
Unexpected Death Rate +1
Welfare -8
Note: You cannot choose the name of your capital city, it remains locked until you get this issue again.
#008: Nudists Demand Time In Sun
The Issue
A loose coalition of sartorially-challenged individuals known as "Let It All Hang Out" has called on the government to relax public nudity laws.
The Debate
1. "For too long, our bodies have been trapped in these prisons of cotton and polyester!" yelled protester @@RANDOMNAME@@, while apparently developing a nasty case of sunburn. "We must repeal the puritanical laws that make public nudity a crime. My body--my choice to dangle!"
The Results:
Averageness +1
Nudity +12
Tourism +1
Weather +1
2. "I agree," mused sociology professor @@RANDOMNAME@@. "But I don't think the protestors are going far enough. Public nudity shouldn't be an option: it should be compulsory. Nudity is highly liberating. And it would put that disgusting "Hooters" out of business once and for all."
The Results: 3. "Whoa, whoa," says noted accountant @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Are these people serious? The last thing I want to see when I'm out for a coffee is some lumbering, over-weight nudist coming down the sidewalk toward me. If people want to get naked, they can do it in the privacy of their own homes. Think of the children!"
The Results:
#208: Mine Collapse Rocks @@NAME@@
The Issue
A mine has collapsed in @@NAME@@ burying hundreds of workers. Calls have been made by the families to tighten up mining safety laws.
The Debate
1. "We need tighter laws to protect vulnerable miners!" moans @@RANDOMNAME@@, a family member of one of the victims. "The mines are being propped up by twigs, the hard hats might as well be made of polystyrene, and the inspectors are all bribed! New laws must be made and the people responsible for allowing this to happen brought to justice."
The Results:
2. "These allegations are ludicrous and unfounded," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of the South @@NAME@@ Mining Company. "We use the finest twigs to build our mines and the last thing we need is the government tying us down with yet more rules. More safety laws means more expense means less profit and less profit means companies will look elsewhere to get their goods. You should leave us alone before you destroy thousands of jobs - do you really want that on your conscience?"
The Results:
Averageness +1
Employment +2
Environmental Beauty -0.5
Happiness +1
Human Development Index -1
Obesity +4
Tourism -0.5
Toxicity +0.5
Weather -1
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