Issues #031, #064, #049, #062, #325, #187, #317, #241, #008, #208.

#031: Get Efficient, Private Sector Tells Nature

The Issue
A group of prominent business identities has proposed privatizing @@NAME@@'s beaches.

The Debate
1. "Have you been to the beach lately? It's disgusting," says company spokesperson @@RANDOMNAME@@. "There's litter, there's teenagers smoking, and there are people enjoying themselves without paying for it. Let the private sector in on this, and @@NAME@@'s beaches will be the talk of the region! And a nice little earner, too."

The Results: Citizens must pay to enjoy NATION's pristine beaches. 

Economy +1

Averageness +6

Eco Friendliness +3

Employment -4

Environmental Beauty +61.75

Human Development Index +1

Lifespan +2

Obesity -4

Pacifism +2

Tourism +64.25

Toxicity -61,25

Unexpected Death Rate -2

Weather +16

2. "Whoa, whoa, we're privatizing beaches now?" says local campaigner @@RANDOMNAME@@. "These are public spaces! All @@NAME@@'s citizens have a right to enjoy them, not just the well-off. Yes, we should improve the quality of our beaches, but handing them over to the money-grabbers is not the right way to do it. The right way to do it is to boost government spending by increasing taxes."

The Results: a government program is underway to revitalize NATION's beaches.


#064: Put The "Board" Back In Board Of Education

The Issue
The @@NAME@@ Teachers' Union, complaining of a steady increase in student disciplinary problems, wants to be able to use corporal punishment to correct misbehavior.

The Debate
1. "Clearly, parents aren't teaching manners at home," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, the union president. "All we want is to be able to take a paddle to their backsides when there are problems. It's not like we want to throw the kids in jail."

The Results: 

2. "Keep your hands off my kids!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, while protesting outside of union headquarters. "If there's a problem, it's with the teachers not having the skills to do their jobs. They should be tested for qualifications!"

The Results: 
Averageness +5
Human Development Index +1
Toxicity +0.25

3. "Corporal punishment would only treat a symptom of the bigger problem: our education system is in need of an overhaul," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@NAME@@'s education minister. "We need smaller class sizes, more teachers, better buildings, and better pay. It'll cost, but it'll pay off in the long run."

The Results: 

4. "Why don't we just abolish the schools and home-school the kids?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, education coordinator for the @@NAME@@ First Omnimenical Church. "That way parents can stress the values they want their kids to have and give them the attention they need."

The Results:  


#049: Diving For @@CURRENCY@@s

The Issue
Divers from a local scuba club have discovered an enormous underwater gold deposit that could be worth billions of @@CURRENCY@@s in one of @@NAME@@'s lakes. It has also caused a huge debate over who should be allowed to plunder the goods.

The Debate
1. @@RANDOMNAME@@, a cabinet member, would like the government to seize the deposit. "This is an excellent time to boost @@NAME@@'s economy and increase our foreign trade with other countries! Who cares about the people that discovered the deposit? They've done their country a great favor and should let us have the money!"

The Results:   

2. @@RANDOMNAME@@, a civil rights activist, vehemently disagrees. "The deposit was found by private citizens and it should be their choice of what to do with the gold. If the government goes around stealing what is rightfully ours, then I shudder to think I live in such a corrupt country. These people discovered the gold, it's now their time to get rich! Nevermind the fact they were diving in a lake on government property!"

The Results:   
Civil Rights +2
Authoritarianism -0.002
Averageness -29
Corruption -1
Environmental Beauty +0.25
Freedom From Corruption +1
Ideological Radicality +1
Safety +1
Social Conservatism -3
Tourism +1.25
Toxicity +0.75
Weaponization +3

3. "We should do what now?" Environmentalist @@RANDOMNAME@@ exclaims. "Do you have any idea how damaging it would be to the environment to mine the gold under that lake? Think of all the aquatic life that would be disrupted or destroyed! Think of how an otherwise pristine lake view would be ruined! Forget the gold and keep those money-grubbing pigs away from nature!"

The Results:  


#062: Oh, The Angst!

The Issue
In response to rising rates of depression related suicides, mental health groups have called for government funding to help support treatment programs, citing various surveys that indicate psychological disorders are often an overlooked problem.

The Debate
1. "Although it is often dismissed as an irrelevant complaint, depression is a real disease; it isn't just 'all in your head'," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, depression sufferer. "Depression has significant effects on groups and individuals, especially amongst teenagers. Every day, more and more people commit suicide because of this disease, but this could all be stopped if this country had a decent level of funding for support and public awareness programs."

The Results: 

2. "Screw them," @@RANDOMNAME@@, talkback radio host, stated yesterday. "Depression isn't a disease, it's just another example of today's youth finding something to complain about. Life's never been better. In fact, just yesterday, I bought my fourth BMW. And even if it is as serious as the bleeding hearts claim, then I say we leave it and cut some of the funding being wasted on these head cases. If a few whiners jump off a bridge, it'll be good for the genepool. Natural selection, my friends. It's a great thing."

The Results: 

3. "Actually, a lot of depression cases in teens are related to school and all the stress and pressure young people are under to succeed. A greater effort to correct the problem of depression should start there, with more funding so that schools can provide better counseling programs." Comments Dr. @@RANDOMNAME@@, author of the book "Tomato Soup for the Soul". "That way teens who are depressed can get help even if their parents can't or won't take them to see a psychologist."

The Results: 
Averageness +5
Government Size +1
Safety +3
Safety from Crime +1
Toxicity -2
Weaponization -1
Weather +1


#325: Blazing Through the Paper Trail
The Issue
Follow a recent fire in the National Archive, which destroyed thousands of important documents, several vocal representatives have approached you with solutions.

The Debate
1."We're got to face facts: technology has advanced beyond physical record-keeping," councils @@RANDOMNAME@@, the PR representative for Eastern Electronic. "Digital records are easier to maintain and easier to back up. Our company can facilitate the switch from the archaic paper records to the sleek, new electronic system. There is the slight risk of electronic tampering, but our security systems are more than capable."

The Results: 

2."Now, hold on a second. What about us?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, the CEO of a national paper supplier. "We might not have the flash of an electronic system, but I'll tell you what we do have: quality customer service. You're saying fires are bad. Well, we hear you loud and clear. Stick with us and not only will we make physical copies of all the files to store in different locales, but I'll get my research team to whip up some fire-resistant paper too. Let's see those IT poindexters do all that!"

The Results: 

3."No, no, no. It's all too dangerous!" screams @@RANDOMNAME@@, dressed only in a cured @@ANIMAL@@ hide. "Paper can be destroyed by fire or floods, and electronic copies are susceptible to viruses and hackers! There's only one way to truly keep our records safe. We must rerecord them on stone tablets. Fire can't destroy them, and I'd like to see someone hack a piece of granite!"

The Results: 

Averageness +7

Defense Forces +1

Eco Friendliness +1
Employment +4

Environmental Beauty +1.5

Health +0.03

Law Enforcement +1

Public Healthcare +1

Public Transport +1

Safety +1

Tourism +1.5

Toxicity -1.5

Welfare +1


#187: @@NAME@@'s Underclass Drowning In Debt

The Issue
In response to an increasing number of people falling into debt and declaring bankruptcy, activists are arguing that the government should take a stronger role in protecting its citizens from loosely regulated lending firms and in helping its citizens pay off or cancel their debts.

The Debate
1. @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of consumer watchdog 'Debt-Busters' urges the government to enact new laws: "We've got middle and lower class families falling victim to predatory financial institutions and plunging into debts they can never hope to repay. The government must pass legislation restricting things like interest rates to stem the tide of people losing their property to these sharks, and take an active role reviewing all loan repayment terms."

The Results:
 

2. "That's just not going far enough!" cries newspaper columnist, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The government must eliminate the shackles of debt from our good nation once and for all! What we need are vast reforms of the welfare system then we can provide these poor, downtrodden souls with money and housing, so they don't need to take out such huge loans in the first place!

The Results:
 

3. "They're irresponsible with their money and yet they're the victims? Call me crazy but borrowing money and not paying it back isn't debt, it's theft!" scoffs @@RANDOMNAME@@, representitive of one of @@NAME@@'s largest lending firms. "What we really need is the power to send these parasites to debtor prisons, where they can work off the money they owe through hard manual labour."

The Results:
Averageness -15
Defense Forces -2
Eco Friendliness -2
Environmental Beauty -5.5
Government Size -1
Health +0.03
Industry: Arms Manufacturing +2
Industry: Beverage Sales +1
Industry: Book Publishing +1
Industry: Cheese Exports +1
Industry: Furniture Restoration +1
Law Enforcement -2
Obesity +4 
Pacifism -2
Public Healthcare -2
Public Transport -2
Safety -2
Tourism -3.5
Toxicity +3.5
Welfare -2


#317: Big Brother Is Watching You Surf

The Issue
Advisers from @@NAME@@'s security services have created a small piece of spyware that they would like to install on every computer in the nation so they can track activity.

The Debate
1. "For the good of all," claims Department of Protection head @@RANDOMNAME@@. "This tiny little program will simply collect data and send it via the internet to one of our databases. Nobody will even notice that it's there. Besides, who's gonna notice a handful of bytes under mountains of stolen MP3s? Just give us the green light and we'll be rounding up terrorists faster than you can say 'lolcat'! And, hey, while we're at it, we could even use it to alert people when there's danger!"

The Results:

2. "Are you insane?" shouts privacy advocate @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Our @@CURRENCY@@s pay for our computers; they're not the government's property! The last thing we need is the government poking its big, fat nose into our business. Keep the government's hands off my harddrive! What's next? Brain implants? Leave my brainwaves alone, you jack-booted thugs!"

The Results:

3. "While 'tis not my place," says Amish farmer @@RANDOMNAME@@, "I just thought I'd mention that we Amish don't have any of this so-called 'cyber-crime'. Aye, 'tis a boring life, and plowin' gets old, but abolishing all of those computer-machines would certainly solve thy problems. Perhaps ye should just abandon phones and fax machines, too. Then ye'll be on your way to livin' in an Amish paradise!"

The Results:
Averageness +1
Nudity +2
Recreational Drug Use +1
Safety -6
Safety from Crime -2
Social Conservatism -1
Toxicity +4
Weaponization +3


#241: A Capital City For @@NAME@@?

The Issue
As @@NAME@@ continues to grow, so too does its government. The number of politicians needed to administrate and legislate the country is rapidly surpassing the Houses of Parliament's capacity with ministers often requiring periscopes to see the House Speaker. Some are suggesting a new building be built in another city - a city which would then be designated as the capital city of @@NAME@@.

The Debate
1. "I would like to make a humble recommendation for my own proud jurisdiction," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, mayor of one of @@NAME@@'s major cities. "It would be an honour for our city to be host to the seat of power! If it will seal the deal, you can change the name if you like..."

The Results:  

2. "Hah! Capital city indeed!" shouts @@RANDOMNAME@@, a fervent anarchist, spilling leaflets all over the floor. "What's wrong with being free as the wind? Do you really think one city could possibly represent a whole country? Its people? I've had enough of the man trying to screw us down all the time! Say NO to a national capital!"

The Results:  

3. "I can accept and even approve of having a capital city," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a military strategist. "But we'd be putting all our eggs in one basket if we choose somewhere too vulnerable! Believe me, capitals always get the brunt of the enemy attack because of their political and economic importance. We should put aside a few billion @@CURRENCY@@s and build our capital city underground. They'll never bomb us there!"

The Results:  

4. "I've got an idea," says theme park tycoon, Lindsay Tew. "My company will happily sponsor the new establishment and cover all costs - as long as it's made to our specifications. We've already got plans drawn up to put a roller coaster straight through the House of Commons! A cafe, some kiosks for ice cream... maybe even a water slide or two in the lobby! It'll be one part legislative seat of government, one part family-fun theme park! Tourists will flock from around the globe!"

The Results:  

5. "What's wrong with the old building?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, a noted disestablishmentarian. "We don't need some kind of fancy capital city just to make the bigwig ministers feel important! If there's no room, then fire politicians until there IS room. Have you never heard of doing more with less?"

The Results:
Averageness -51
Defense Forces -8
Eco Friendliness -8
Environmental Beauty -16
Freedom From Taxation +1
Government Size -2
Human Development Index -1
Law Enforcement -18
Lifespan -1
Public Healthcare -8
Public Transport -8
Safety -8
Taxation -1 
Tourism -16
Toxicity +16
Unexpected Death Rate +1
Welfare -8

Note: You cannot choose the name of your capital city, it remains locked until you get this issue again.


#008: Nudists Demand Time In Sun
The Issue
A loose coalition of sartorially-challenged individuals known as "Let It All Hang Out" has called on the government to relax public nudity laws.

The Debate
1. "For too long, our bodies have been trapped in these prisons of cotton and polyester!" yelled protester @@RANDOMNAME@@, while apparently developing a nasty case of sunburn. "We must repeal the puritanical laws that make public nudity a crime. My body--my choice to dangle!"

The Results:
Averageness +1
Nudity +12
Tourism +1
Weather +1
 
2. "I agree," mused sociology professor @@RANDOMNAME@@. "But I don't think the protestors are going far enough. Public nudity shouldn't be an option: it should be compulsory. Nudity is highly liberating. And it would put that disgusting "Hooters" out of business once and for all."

The Results: 3. "Whoa, whoa," says noted accountant @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Are these people serious? The last thing I want to see when I'm out for a coffee is some lumbering, over-weight nudist coming down the sidewalk toward me. If people want to get naked, they can do it in the privacy of their own homes. Think of the children!"

The Results:


#208: Mine Collapse Rocks @@NAME@@

The Issue
A mine has collapsed in @@NAME@@ burying hundreds of workers. Calls have been made by the families to tighten up mining safety laws.

The Debate
1. "We need tighter laws to protect vulnerable miners!" moans @@RANDOMNAME@@, a family member of one of the victims. "The mines are being propped up by twigs, the hard hats might as well be made of polystyrene, and the inspectors are all bribed! New laws must be made and the people responsible for allowing this to happen brought to justice."

The Results:

2. "These allegations are ludicrous and unfounded," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, CEO of the South @@NAME@@ Mining Company. "We use the finest twigs to build our mines and the last thing we need is the government tying us down with yet more rules. More safety laws means more expense means less profit and less profit means companies will look elsewhere to get their goods. You should leave us alone before you destroy thousands of jobs - do you really want that on your conscience?"

The Results:
Averageness +1
Employment +2
Environmental Beauty -0.5
Happiness +1
Human Development Index -1
Obesity +4
Tourism -0.5
Toxicity +0.5
Weather -1