#227: Underage Drinkers: Social Menace Or Misunderstood?
The Issue
With the advent of alcopops and other cheap liquors marketed at younger drinkers there has been public outcry at the sharp increase in underage drinking.
The Debate
1. "I never wanted my poor babies to grow up to be alcoholics!" wails @@RANDOMNAME@@, a parent of three, striding into your office. "And now I'm worried they'll drink themselves into being no-good slobs before they've even grown up! The only way to stop this madness is to really crack down on under-age drinking. Stricter identification laws and severe punishments should do the trick! The present laws are much too soft!"
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2. "What is it with parents making society discipline their children because they don't want to?" asks @@RANDOMNAME@@, a schoolteacher. "These wishy-washy parents are to blame for their kids' misdemeanours! It is the parents who should be held responsible and be fined- no, even better, arrested and jailed!"
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3. "Keep your hands off my Spinning Mermaid, Mac," says ten-year-old @@RANDOMNAME@@, an all-round unruly youth while downing some sort of shocking pink beverage. "Why shouldn't us kids be allowed to drink? We're reshponshible enou- HIC- enough. Don't oppress us like this, we're jusht havin' some fun."
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4. "To be honest, this doesn't surprise me," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a cultural attaché from East Lebuckte. "Back in my country it is customary for children to have a glass of wine with their main meal of the day. If you make alcohol an everyday mundanity then they're not going to go overboard with it later. Educate them in culture and sophistication so that they truly appreciate their senses instead of trashing them on low-grade hooch."
Result:
Averageness +2
Culture +3
Happiness -1
Industry: Beverage Sales -1
Nudity -2
Obesity -2
Recreational Drug Use -1
Safety +9
Safety from Crime +3
Social Conservatism +1
Toxicity -6
Weaponization -4
Youth Rebelliousness -2
5. "I agree that we should educate them about alcohol rather than simply hope punishments will get through to them," says Dr @@RANDOMNAME@@, an expert on alcoholism. "But teaching those hoodlums culture? It just won't work. If we're going to get them to drink less then we must impress on them the DANGERS of alcohol, not the benefits! We'll scare them into drinking sensibly!"
Result:
6. "This wouldn't be a problem at all if alcohol was banned altogether," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, enjoying a fine ginger beer. "It's not just kids who break the law when under the influence you know."
Result:
#145: Hackles Raised Over Fur Clothes Debate
The Issue
Several animal rights groups have protested the continuing use of fur as a material for clothing.
The Debate
1. "This is an outrage!" cries @@RANDOMNAME@@, president of the Be Nice To Animals society. "The manufacture of fur apparel is unethical, cruel, and disgusting! People just don't seem to realise that millions of animals die each year in fur farms, crammed into tiny cages and suffering the most terrible treatment just so someone can look appealing and rich! This is a sick practice and must be stopped! The same can go for leather shoes and snakeskin belts too."
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2. "You can't mean that, surely?" snorts @@RANDOMNAME@@, adjusting his hat, made from real @@ANIMAL@@ hide. "It's the people's choice what they wear. I don't think it's fair that the majority of the public should be deprived of fur clothes because some people are a bit queasy. In fact, if the government would allow us to stock rarer animals, we could produce even finer products. In the end, it's up to the consumer, don't you think?"
Result:
Averageness +2
Compassion -1
Employment +2
Niceness -1
Pacifism -1
Rudeness +1
Toxicity +1
Weather -1
#081: Close Encounters Of The Sci-fi Kind?
The Issue
A recent, well-publicized UFO sighting over rural areas of @@NAME@@ has turned people's attention to the skies, and what... or who... might be up there.
The Debate
1. "This event proves one thing: there are other life-forms out there," says eccentric astronomer @@RANDOMNAME@@, "All we have to do is find them! What is the price of a few hundred Radio Telescopes compared to the benefit of living in peace and harmony with our brethren of the stars?"
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2. "Spies! It's gotta be spies! A few planes or satellites from our enemies or 'allies' in our region," rages General @@RANDOMNAME@@, head of @@NAME@@'s military, "The only way to keep those snoops out of our airspace is to patrol the streets 'n skies, and shoot 'em down! Even if they are some sort of little green aliens, a couple of SAM batteries and a few flak cannons'll keep 'em from abducting our @@ANIMAL@@s."
Result:
3. "Extraterrestrial lifeforms? Alien invaders? I don't know why we even have to listen to such idiocy!" complains prize-winning physicist @@RANDOMNAME@@. "In my opinion, the idea of 'aliens' on another planet is highly unlikely, and even if they did exist, getting from there to here is technically impossible! I say we forget this nonsense and stop spending our tax @@CURRENCY@@s on it. Leave this sort of foolishness to the people who attend those 'trekkie' conventions."
Result:
Averageness -3
Happiness +1
Political Apathy +2
#028: Cancer Sufferer Demands Euthanasia Bill
The Issue
Dorothy Terwilliger lies immobilized in a hospital bed, unable to move. She has end-stage cancer, and wishes to end her struggle against death. However, laws prevent her doctors from obeying her wishes.
The Debate
1. Dorothy and her family are campaigning for a "Dying with Dignity" bill, to change this situation. She implores the government to legalize euthanasia.
Result:
Civil Rights +1
Authoritarianism -0.001
Happiness -1
Nudity +2
Obesity +4
Public Healthcare -1
Recreational Drug Use +1
Social Conservatism -2
Weaponization +2
Weather -1
2. "I understand this is a very difficult time for these people," says freelance medical writer @@RANDOMNAME@@. "But the solution is not to let our medical system slide down the slippery slope of killing people in pain. We must cure, not kill. This is not the right time for euthanasia."
Result:
3. "I agree, but go further: there is never a right time for euthanasia," says Bishop @@RANDOMNAME@@. "The lives we lead are given to us by the grace of God, and he decides when they end. It is not for us to question God's divine purpose, no matter how odd or screwed-up it may seem."
Result:
#102: For Whom The Road Tolls
The Issue
A group of transport analysts have suggested that a charge of five @@CURRENCY@@s a day for vehicular access to @@NAME@@'s most congested inner-cities during peak hours is the only way to solve their ever-growing traffic problem.
The Debate
1. "Similar schemes have been very effective elsewhere," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, @@NAME@@'s most infamous traffic warden. "It's common sense that the best way to curb dangerously high demand is to raise the price of the supply - or, as in this case, to create a price. Charging citizens to go into more congested areas could, combined with the improvements to public transport it will finance, actually make people choose public transport over their cars. I don't see why people shouldn't pay tax for a little less traffic on our roads."
Result:
Averageness -4
Eco Friendliness +1
Environmental Beauty +5
Public Transport +4
Tourism +4
Toxicity -4.5
2. "These tolls are a preposterous idea," argues road lobbyist, @@RANDOMNAME@@. "Public transport will never replace the car - I don't want to be forced to share my space with a bunch of malodorous working-class people on my way to work. Not that I would be, because I could afford the charge, but really, it's the principle of the matter! The only solution is to expand urban road networks. True, some pavements and green spots would have to go, but those pedestrians should be able to put up with that if they're to expect @@NAME@@ to be part of the modern world."
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3. "Allowing cars to scoot around and pollute our cities was a bad idea in the first place," says @@RANDOMNAME@@, a famous environmentalist. "The solution is to restrict private transport to main roads and motorways whilst funding a major urban public transport scheme. Our buses and undergrounds could be the envy of the world! Yes, the car companies will suffer a little, and yes, there'll be a bit more tax, but wouldn't it be worth it for a bit of fresh air and safe streets for the children?"
Result:
#041: Software Giant Stomps on Competition
The Issue
The CEO of @@NAME@@ software, hardware, and electronic headwear giant Microcosm, Inc. has been brought before the Supreme Court for violation of antitrust laws.
The Debate
1. "These allegations are absolutely ludicrous!" shouts Microcosm CEO @@RANDOMNAME@@ from out the window of his 90-foot stretch limo. "Just because rival companies are incapable of producing products as brilliant as mine is no reason to punish ME! I say it's high time we abolish these idiotic antitrust laws and give big business the freedom to serve the public better. After all, I'm in this business for the people!"
Result:
Authoritarianism +0.001
Averageness +31
Business Subsidization -1
Compassion -2
Corruption +2
Employment -3
Environmental Beauty +0.25
Freedom From Corruption -2
Human Development Index +1
Ideological Radicality -1
Income Equality +3
Industry: Arms Manufacturing -1
Industry: Book Publishing -1
Industry: Furniture Restoration -1
Most Pro-Market -0.6
Niceness -2
Obesity -5
Pacifism -1
Rudeness +2.7
Safety -2
Tourism -0.25
Toxicity +1.25
Weather -2
2. "Microcosm must be shut down immediately," argues CEO of Computers, Computers, Computers! @@RANDOMNAME@@ from out the window of his clunky, exhaust-choked used car. "I can't get a foothold to compete in the market because those bigwigs in Microcosm have that foothold by the throat! It's high time the government stepped in and helped out the little man, and the best way to do that is to shut down the big, oppressive, corporate gurus in Microcosm and beyond."
Result:
3. "Verily, I say unto thee, none of this would have happened wouldst thou not have stopped the problem before thou didst start it," argues Brother @@RANDOMNAME@@ of the @@NAME@@ Amish community from out the window of his horse-drawn carriage. "We must doest as the Lord commandeth and abolishest the evils of computers and the Internet entirely. Only whenst we harken unto the Lord's commandments mayeth we truly be spiritually blessed."
Result:
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